The greatest band that ever lived is back! Wait…did they ever leave? Well, bros, the better question is have they
done anything awesome lately? I regret
to inform you that Rize of the Fenix is sort of Tenacious D’s comeback album,
but don’t fret! Wipe those worries away
with the winds of change from this album; it will literally remove all doubts
you’ve ever had…about the band.
If you aren’t
familiar with the D, then fool, go out and listen to the previous god-albums by
the comedic duo of Jack Black & Kyle Gass.
Their first self-titled album is pure gold through and through;
unfortunately their second album, Pick of Destiny, (soundtrack from the movie) was
considered a major flop. For years fans of the D worried this would be the end
of the greatest band that ever lived. Enter
2012. This year was prophesized to be
the end of the human race, and guess what our salvation is? RIZE OF THE
FENIX. Holy balls, this shit is the
bomb. 
Black and Gass have created a beautiful behemoth of an
album. It’s raw. It’s hilarious. It’s hardcore. I really couldn’t ask much more out of
them. The two kings of D have created songs that have
that real epic feel to them; you could compare them to classic rock greats like
Led Zeppelin or the Who. Their title
song, Rize of the Fenix, is a true diamond.
The song chronicles their failure after Pick of Destiny, and their rise
back to greatness with this album – And their hope that this song is a
hit. I love it; it really captures their
desperateness and it has truly great pacing.
The ending makes you want to scream FUCK YEAH!
Another song, Seňorita is proof of Tenacious D’s manic
majick. Seňorita
tells the tale of the singer (which I imagine as ole gringo fattie Jack Black)
trying to get with this chicka named Conchita.
The song begins with him confronting Conchita’s boyfriend Larry because
he has done her wrong. Larry tells him to “fucking fuck himself”; they get into
a fight and Black wins. Then it jumps to
Conchita going back to Larry despite how heroic Jack was. This song is probably my favorite of the
album; I really enjoy the Spanish music influences. The song starts off rather
soft, and it builds up. It explodes into
a truly rocking song at the point when Conchita goes back to Larry – truly awesome
bros! I think my favorite thing about it
is that Seňorita
reminds me of the Spanish soaps on T.V.
It’s brilliant! Death Starr is
also tremendously fucking awesome. This
one is about well..the Death Star and space and stuff. I’m really this is an actual song because I
have an everlasting broner for everything and anything Star Wars. Another indisputably great song is
Roadie. This song is about the
unrewarding yet essential life of the roadie in terms of rock shows. It’s pretty much the Tribute of the album; it’s
sad, it’s funny, and it’s fucking powerful.
Gass and Black deliver the goods on these songs.
The rest of the album is solid, but they pale in comparison
of the greatness of these aforementioned powerhouses. Low Hangin’ Fruit almost makes my top three,
but it doesn’t have that special rock sauce.
It’s really funny though; JB sings about how and KG go bananas about
low-tier chicks. It’s sexual and
solid. My favorite thing about it is
that Black gets a chance to do his world-renowned scatting. So awesome!
The Ballad of Hollywood Jack and The Rage Kage is an interesting
song. It’s about how Kyle gets left
behind after their failure of Pick of Destiny and Jack pursues success in the
movies. It’s great because it’s one of
the few songs that ever highlights KG, but I can’t enjoy it as much as the
other songs. It sort of lacks the power
that most Tenacious D songs flaunt. I
also felt like it was placed in a weird spot; it lies on the latter half of the
album, but it feels like it should be near Rize of the Fenix (the opener). They Fucked Our Asses is the most metal song
on the album, but it is entirely too short.
To Be The Best feels like a montage song – the likes you would see in a
movie during some sort of training.
Throw Down is a crazy song about ‘throwing down’ – it’s okay. Then we
got the two duds; Rock is Dead and 39.
39 is about a 39 whore, and it’s just kinda..gross – not even in a funny
way. Rock is Dead is exactly like The
Metal (from PoD), but in classic rock flavor.
One of my favorite things about their self-titled albums is
present in RotF: the skits. The skits
are little comedic breaks from the music that usually have Black and Gass get
into some problem, and Black makes a mess of it. It’s really great. There are two of them on the album; my
favorite is called Classical Teacher where Black poses as a guitar teacher from
Spain to improve Gass’ abilities. I won’t
spoil it for you, but I will say that Black brings out the Nacho Libre accent.
This album is a must buy and will no doubt be played on
repeat. This is not the most metal
album, but if you’re any sort of fan of classic rock you’ll really enjoy
it. The music is top notch, and every
single god damn song makes you want to sing with Jack Black. The Wonderboy & Young Nastyman are back! They’ve done it! The phoenix has risen and your face will smile as it melts away! Bask in their greatness!
TENACIOUS D HAS RISEN!
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