Nike
New technology and new specialized
fabrics are all the rage with football jerseys these days it seems. It also seems that ugly uniforms are all the
rage as well, from the weird ass uniforms of Marlyland to the ever changing
uniforms of the Oregon Ducks. As you
probably heard Nike is the new uniform provider for the NFL and they made their
debut this week at a “fashion” show in New York this past week. While they unveiled new technology, most of
the uniforms look pretty much exactly the same with the big exception being
Seattle who had their uniforms pretty much completely redone, but how really
cares when you suck as bad as they do.
Nike is said to have changed all 32 of the league’s teams uniforms even
if it was a minute change with the exception being Green Bay who requested for
theirs to stay exactly the same and not even be updated to the new material
used to make the jerseys, I think that’s mostly because their accustomed to old
out dated things; hint, hint Bret Favre.
I think that all this “unveiling” proves is that if you can come up with
five ugly uniforms for certain teams in college football and put the bulk of your
intention in designing ugly jerseys for your CEO’s alma mater you can be
successful and make people clamor for your poorly designed jerseys. I think I have a slight hatred toward NIKE
especially because I feel like they’ve phoned it in on the last 2 pro combat
jerseys that they have done for LSU.
It’s like come on people we have cool colors and are close to New
Orleans you could at least go with a Mardi Gras theme or tiger stripes on them
or something, come on NIKE dig your head out of your ass you duck humpers and
spend less time putting basketball courts up that hurt people’s eyes and spend
more time in the design room.
Chick Hog
Big news out of Arkansas this weekend as Bobby
Petrino was put on paid administrative leave following his motorcycle accident
and his failure to report the accident all combining with the fact that he was
with one of his recently hired female employees. Details on what exactly happened are a little
fuzzy but so far it looks like an A-bomb has dropped on Petrino’s head. If I were him I would be so pissed at myself
because not only did I get caught suspiciously with another women who I had
just hired the week before when I was married, and on top of that I got hurt
really badly, and then had to worry about being fired. To be honest I find this story incredibly
hilarious but that is mostly because I am not an Arkansas fan, but I also find
this story refreshing because it shows that there is at least one non
incestuous Arkansasian in that whole inbred state. To be honest I am curious to see what happens
because when you look at it he didn’t really do anything to illegal beside not
report and accident and try to cover it up so the only reason that they could
even fire him is because of making the university look bad, but to be honest
how do you make a university in a state widely known as the dumb, inbred state
look bad because lord knows it’s not known to be a super educated state. That’s
like trying to make Louisiana’s public school system look bad, it’s just not
that hard. My advice to Arkansas fans is move on. No
matter if you are a good coach, if you can’t stay out of the news your school
is not going to want you around especially if the biggest thing you’ve done is
win a Sugar Bowl because of NCAA violations committed by the other team.
The Masters
This past weekend the biggest event
in the PGA tour was going on, with American Bubba Watson winning his first
Masters. Anything can happen at the
Masters and most of the time it does. This
is basically an excuse for me to talk about some of my favorite golfers one of which
is Miguel Angel Jimenez, I’m not making this decision based on skill or
anything but simply because I like his trademark pony tail and his cigar look that
started a viral phenomenon, when one of his fans dressed up as him last
year. Another one of my favorites is
Tiger Woods, now I know he’s the most known athlete in the world but a lot of
people stopped liking him when he got caught up in that sex scandal, but to be
honest that made me like him more. Especially because now it is funny to make
hole in one jokes (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).
There is one golfer and I don’t really know why but he just pisses me
off and that person is Phil Mickelson.
Now I know that he is a popular guy with going through the arthritis he
has and with his wife getting cancer or something like that but there is just
something about him that I don’t like. I
think it has something to do with his face but a lot has something do to with
his sponsors in all the PGA tournaments I’ve watched I have still never learned
what Barclays and KPMG are. You would
think that a supposed top tier golfer would at least be able to get household
names as sponsors. With all this being
said I think that the biggest reason I don’t like him is because he is left
handed. Left handed people gross me out,
it’s like come on people why can’t you be like everyone else and just use your
right hand. Now back to golfers I can
actually stand. Another one of my favorites
is Bubba Watson, not only because he can hit the ball a mile. And rock the shit
out of a bucket hat, but because of his name.
I know it’s a bit hypocritical to insult left handed people and then
like one, but BACK OFF. I just think it’s
kind of funny to see a golfer named Bubba, to me it almost seems ironic because
when you hear Bubba you automatically think of some fat mulletted guy wearing overalls
and a toothless smile not some guy with the top button buttoned on his polo
carrying around a golf club, but I guess none of that really matters. I could spend all day talking about golfers I
like and don’t like, especially since there are so many of them, but I mostly
just wanted to congratulate Bubba Watson on his win and throw a few insults at
Phil Mickelson who fell apart in the last round of the tourney. The only thing that would have been better is
if I could have been at the Masters. I
would have followed him around all day just to point and laugh at him when he
messed up and yell JACKASS at it him when he hit, like that Red Lobster
obsessed guy in Happy Gilmore.
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